I am physically incapable of NOT spilling salsa on myself.

I just cannot NOT do it. It’s almost like a secret special skill I have. My mother used to tell me that everything happens for a reason, so one day, there will probably be a bomb in my office building somewhere, and the only way to stop it from detonating would will be by placing a piece of my tomato-stained poly-cotton blend dress over it. But until then, I just look like a clumsy jackass.

PHOTO: Apparently, this problem is not that uncommon.