Bourne Ultimatum is Better than Sex with an Unimaginative Partner

God, this movie was so good. Like smart, slick, and well-put-together -- a true thinking man's action film, good. Like the best action flick that I've seen in a really long, long, time good. Like better than anything that those stupid b*tches from the Yoplait commercial could come up with good. Like, if The Fugitive, First Blood, and Die Hard had an orgy that produced an illegitimate baby good. Yeah, that good. Okay, I'll stop now. Director Paul Greengrass was a bit too, um, zealous with the shaky cam, though, so be sure to take a dramamine before you go. Also, be warned: if you are into watching hot guys be the living shit out of each other (as I am), be sure to take someone that you can sleep with afterwards. It greatly enhances the experience.

PHOTO: Never was one of Matt's biggest supporters, but this body, um, I mean role has converted me into a Damon Superfan. That is, until he goes all soft and pretty boy again.