Tuesday, January 4, 2011

In six months, I will be bionic.

As some of you may have suspected, I am not Oprah Winfrey, and thus have not the resources nor the cognitive ability to balk a storied New Year's tradition that sets millions up for inevitable disappointment just to live in the now of common sense and good judgment. Instead, I've decided to amuse you by making resolutions that I will actually keep. Or, that I fail at so spectacularly you can't help but be riveted.

My resolutions are as follows:

  • Be a performance-level aerialist (read: be able to perform for 2-3 minutes non-stop) by July 1, 2011.

  • Lose 30 pounds by July 1, 2011.

They are serious and difficult goals (shocking, I know), but this woman broke both of her legs, and is still teaching yoga classes, so I have no excuses for failure. Except laziness. That will always be an acceptable excuse. Join me and laugh at my pain! It will most likely be substantial.

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