NEWSFLASH: My Unofficial Boycott of The Onion is Officially Over.

If you've been reading the Boredom Blog with any sort of regularity, you may remember that I've been boycotting The Onion because of their, um.... Wait, it'll come to me....Yeah, I forget. I'm currently boycotting about 16 things right now, so it's hard to keep them all straight (Which reminds me, do any of you remember why I'm not calling my mother? Please post in comments). Sadly, I'm not together enough to put together any kind of formalized thing, so I decided to forget to read the site to show them *just* how angry I am. My initial goal was one month, but diligence (and early-onset of Alzheimer's) allowed me to go strong for over six weeks.

Anywho, I finally broke down today to check my horoscope, and boy, was I glad I did, as they advised that I shouldn't "be surprised this week if someone strangles you with a length of piano wire as you read about your future."

Luckily for me, this was not 100% accurate -- she used dental floss instead (I think because it doesn't fray as much). However, I knew it was coming, and had the foresite to stick my glock in my handbag beforehand. Needless to say, that'll be the last time that hygenist screws with me.

PHOTO: Whatcha gonna do when this b*tch comes for you?