Today in Stupid Ways to Spend Your Money

Perhaps you've just been cast as Puck in your local community theatre and/or prison's production of Midsummer's Night Dream. And, while you feel confident that your acting will convince everyone that you are a devilish sprite (except maybe your father, who stopped believing your theatrical abilities shortly after you moved back home because you could no longer afford the Y), you want to seal the deal. Good news! You can now get your ears surgically altered to be the perfect accoutrement to your fairie costume. The added bonus being you'll also hear better. Um, yeah. Tonight, I had the choice of going to the gym, or updating you on the latest elfin body mod. And you're welcome.