Fark: A Constant Source of News on Cute Animal Stories

As many of you know, I hate "real news". Mainly because I don't want a lot of "facts" bogging down my passionate, if not enlightened beliefs. Plus, like 99% of the shit that mainstream news covers is really fucking depressing. I mean, you do know that that AmyWinehouse chick is totally apeshit insane? It used to be, when I was a kid, not one year (NOT ONE YEAR!) went by without a story about some GD pup that traveled 300 miles back home after being lost on a trip. What I want to know is, why is this no longer newsworthy???!!! Can the puppies not find their way home anymore? Don't they know about the recent innovations in GPS technology??!!?!!

Anywho, the main reason I love the news aggregator Fark is because they are AWASH in these stories (though they occasionally do sneak a real story in once in a while -- bastards!). Finally, a welcome change to the daily update from the President and his lackies, which basically approximates to "Yes, we are still on a path to the region of world known as Hell. The transport vehicle remains a handbasket."

PHOTO: Sure, a pigeon and a monkey can fall in love, but where will they make a home?