Tuesday, September 18, 2007

I'm Not Too Proud to Steal Content from My Birthday Cards

My evil sister from Philly sent me a birthday card this year, and it is just another reminder of why I hate her so much: Because she's funnier than me. I've included most of it below, but parts of it, like Sally Field, have been censored for explicit(ly funny) content.

"So, in my 29th year, I've decided to turn over a new leaf, and only send birthday cards that arrive on time for the actual event. No more on-time(ish) cards, and no more cards that celebrate the one month anniversary of your most recent birthday. (At least no this year. As they say in AA, "Baby Steps." I think that applies here.) I don't want to pretend that I'm completely reformed, after all I found this card in my desk drawer, presumably the card I intended to send last year and just never got around to, so, in essence, this card, though the sentiment is new (I mean, that's if you can claim "Happy Birthday" as an "original" thought), the card itself is old and sort of on time, potentially early, even [ed. note: it was a day late].

You'll notice, though, that though I've decided to send birthday cards on time and so
selflessly, the message, meta-message, and logic is still completely self-absorbed. A duckingly does not become a swan overnight!

Shifting the focus to you... Happy Birthday!
Love, Ryan (and Michael)"

PHOTO: We like you. We really really like you. Cause you talked shit about the Iraq War on Fox. God, you've got balls.

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