You, Dad! I Learned It By Watching You!

Let's face it. The reason you're here, the reason you're my friend, is because you read The New York Times. You also don't see what's the big deal about the MoveOn.org ad about General Petraeus. After all, it is STILL a free country, at least for the next week or so. Point being, you've probably already read this article that says the real drug addicts are not just teenagers, but the middle-aged. And, as my friend, this probably doesn't surprise you, because your years at NYU have taught you that a proper addiction, like a good wine, requires years of cultivation.

PHOTO: This is your brain on drugs. Any questions? Good, now pass the toast.