It's Business in the Front, Reggae in the Back

I saw a man on the train today who had, what can only be classified as a RastaMullet. Basically, the front part of his hair was shaved (almost to his skull) with what appeared to be shoulder-length dreads in the back (ironically, tied up in a bun). Weirdest part was, not only was he NOT homeless, he was wearing a really nice suit. Seriously, it felt like how it must have been when the upside of the Schwartz ring met the downside (Yes, I've never seen Star Wars, but I can quote the parody shamelessly. I refuse to apologize for being this cool). For the second time this week, I ask Why??!! Why would you do that!?!?!?! Shit or get off the pot -- either shave your head or grow dreads. Haven't the current presidential candidates taught you that you can't have everything??!?!! (Dammit, why aren't there any black women candidates?!?!!! It would make it so much easier to choose. I'm just saying. But I digress.) In sum: Dreads = cool if you wash them. Mullets = bad. Dread + Mullet = confused train passenger who wonders if you've ever been kicked out of a trailer park for smoking too much weed.