Today's Wild Plan to Get a Job: Apply for a job on Monster.com

With the sheer volume of postings and losers such as myself trolling it constantly in the hopes of finding a career (or at least the next series of meaningless tasks from which I will divorce myself emotionally and pray I don’t lose my soul), looking for jobs on Monster.com is as pointless as playing the lottery. Yes, I know that for each job, *somebody* is eventually hired, but *somebody* wins Powerball every day too – it just ain’t ever been me.