Wednesday, July 25, 2007

According to the NYPD, *I* am What a Terrorist Looks Like

This morning marks the *SIXTH* time I've been searched on the subway by NYPD for weapons of mass destruction since this program has been instituted. When I lived in Chinatown, it made sense -- after all, a black person in Chinatown at 7:30 AM is clearly up to no good. But now that I'm in Brooklyn, home to black people of all races, this is ridiculous! What really gets me though is that I've noticed that the only other people being searched at the table are also of the non-white persuasion. Today, the cop who waived me over was holding an open topped cup of coffee with about a million creams in it. I think he was using it as a terrorist indicator -- anyone darker than his drink was a possible enemy combatant.

Here's the trick -- the continual raping of my civil liberties aside, it really gets my goat that they are so slow yet laughingly unthorough in their search. Yes, officer, if I were to bring a bomb on the subway, I would hide it in the pages of a Brooklyn library copy of "The Starter Wife" and not the large opaque plastic container at the bottom of my bag, so don't waste your time opening it to see what's inside! Rather, ask me where I got those nifty sunglasses from! I'm sure they'll look great on you too!

The final insult is having to explain to your boss that your late because you were stopped, yet AGAIN, to be searched by the police. I have yet to figure out the proper way to express this -- "The NYPD stopped me because they think I want to blow up the subway. But don't worry -- they didn't find anything." Err, I'm still working on the wording of this.

PHOTO: I thought it was hilarious that all of the photos on the internet of the subway searches were of this seemingly coffee-test approved guy, but then I looked up the origin of his last name, and it's Middle Eastern (Egyptian, to be exact). He probably received the complimentary upgrade to anal cavity search off camera.

READER'S POLL: Have you ever been stopped to be searched? You know me ... Do you think I look like a terrorist? Post your answers in comments.

No comments: