Bastard Children replace Birkin Bags as the New Accessory of the Season

I am really very glad that my mother never wrote an op-ed piece about my illegitimate birth (seriously though, thanks Mom!). While having an interracial child born out of wedlock is hardly newsworthy these days (I hear that the mothers of all the really great bloggers are doing it), there is something about this piece that rankles my spirit. Ah, yes – it’s the fact that the author so glibly tells the tale of how she screwed not one but three men, including her poor son, who is now forever memorialized on the web as a souvenir from mommy’s trip to Mexico.

My favorite part though, has to be when she realizes that the man she is cheating on her boyfriend with isn't upset when she dumps him, and probably never loved her. Yes, I too find it shocking behavior for an adulterer. What a callous asshole... Has he no feelings?!?!?

Now, everyone knows that I am first in line at the sexual freedom fair, but I am just so over people who cheat on their significant others (let’s call them infidels, shall we?) and then get upset when their relationships fall to shit. Equally heinous are people who knowingly sleep with these infidels. Both deserve what they get, and, while I’m not saying you’ll never be cheated on if you don't cheat, I do believe firmly (and have proof) that if you get arrested for putting a brick through your ex’s windshield because he eff'ed your friend, the judge will decline to indict. It’s called karma, folks, and it’s the gas in my eco-friendly engine of revenge.

PHOTO: Don't make us reinstate these.