To the Man Who Asked Me Out on the Subway -- Sexy as You Are, I Don't Want to Date You

Wow! I cannot believe that a guy like you would ever hit on a girl like me… I must admit that I was staring – after all, I’ve never seen a guy quite like you before. I’m not sure what drew my attention first; your inimitable sense of style (I would never have thought to pair a pink button down shirt with tartan plaid pants!), the muffin top that so deliciously hangs over your womanly hips, or the handle bar mustache that curls ever-so-sexily up at the ends. You are a whole lot of man, my friend. And while dating you would be an experience that I would never forget, I think that I must decline your very generous offer to take me out. I guess I’m just afraid to date someone who is so clearly out of my league. Thank you, though – you’ve made my day.

PHOTO: A man interested me that's as hot as Humpty Dumpty? It's too good to be true.