Bank of America to Add Ass-Rape to its List of Complimentary Customer Services

Kudos to Bank of America for being the most loathed, and yet, surprisingly still in business, bank in the US, and possibly the world. Despite such wildly successful PR campaigns as suing a victim of identity theft for $23,000 in overdraft charges, selling customers' private information without notice, and distributing fake twenties from its ATMs, BoA has managed to step up their willful disgust for anyone who might be so stupid as to use their services by charging non BoA customers a whopping three dollar ATM fee (effective July 31st). Genius. Sheer genius.

My experience with Bank of America? Stellar, as you can imagine. After they bought out my MBNA alumni credit card (with a preferential 4.9% APR), they tried to raise my APR to a stagger 24.9%, despite the fact that I have an excellent credit rating (and an average credit APR of around 11%). When I contacted MBNA to find out why, they gave me the CSR equivalent of "Because we can." Seriously, if Satan owed a bank, he would be terrified of competition from these assholes. I cancelled the card to maintain the APR on the existing balance, but the experience has prompted to set an aggressive payoff plan for all my cards, lest I run into this issue again. So thank you, Bank of America, for being *such* a toolish company as to force me into fiscal responsibility.

PHOTO: Satan, or "Bub" as he's known to friends, says he frequently encourages colleagues to think twice before banking at the institution. "I've known about [the Bank of America tactics] for a long time, and, quite frankly, they scare me."